You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Chicago(ish)’ category.
Rest assured the thunder snow did not swallow us. I just stepped away from the computer to give my five loyal readers some relief from the deluge of posts I polluted you with during the “weather event.”
This morning we are recovering from the Super Bowl festivities, which made one local first grader very happy. Annimal watched the game while wearing her Packer cheerleading uniform and was delighted in the outcome. The Boy watched with his Colts hat on and made plans for next year. Moo just smiled and was happy that her sister was happy.
I need to share one more tidbit from last week, when the blizzard stopped and the sun peeked from the clouds. With the kids out of school, and the driveway somewhat clear, we decided to go sledding at the local hill. This is the one I wrote about some time ago, which you can find here.
The hill was crowded with two distinct groups of kids who were home from school – the grammar school kids and the high schoolers, who numbered about 20 and moved in a constant pack. The former group kept its distance from the latter. The high schoolers built a ramp and the ten or so boys were taking turns trying to impress the ten or so girls who were not paying attention at all. Jimmy and Maggie did their own sledding on a different side of the hill, safely away from the high school awkwardness. Annimal was unimpressed by any of this, and walked in front of the pack, cutting in front of three high school boys planning “the sickest trick ever dude.” She waddled in front of them confidentally with her little disc sled, pushed off and giggled down the hill, hitting the ramp, and flying several feet in the air before landing and letting out a huge laugh. The high schoolers erupted in cheers.
One of the boys had gone down the hill right before Annie and had missed these festivities – in fact he thought they had been cheering him. When he got back to the top, particularly proud of himself, one of his friends quickly let him down, “No dude, this little girl went down the hill right after you and got some sweet air.”
Let there be heat…and there was heat. Apparently there is a safety feature built into furnace systems so that when exhaust pipes are blocked, by, for example, a 4-foot drift of snow that accumulates in a wind tunnel between two houses, the heating element shuts off to prevent exhaust from backing into a home and silently killing its inhabitants. So, good news – that feature works on our furnace!
We’re in for a quick break after spending the last hour clearing the driveway. In case you had not heard, we got a lot of snow.
I would have titled this “The Morning After” but it is still snowing, which is nice. We really needed the snow, what with the drought going on.
Last night at around 9, the massive wall in our backyard (the one my dad built for Baba Ganoosh to fire lacrosse balls at) blew over. It’s an eight-foot by eight-foot wall built of plywood and reinforced with side beams. It’s heavy. Wait, you knew it was heavy as soon as I said “my dad built” it. Anyway, we were getting 50MPH gusts so it went down at 9. That was around the time we were seeing lightning as well. I’m sure Cantore had an adrenaline induced seizure at that point.
I awoke to even more snow this morning. It’s hard to say how much because of the drifts, which have moved a significant portion up against the house. The bushes in front of my porch are covered. I would estimate they are three feet high. Now, don’t misunderstand me – we didn’t get 3 feet of snow, so listen Washington DC, just relax, you still win for last year’s nonsense. The drifting is throwing things off a little.
I opened the garage door, where again, the wind has displaced snow up against it. The snow at that point is up to my waist. The nice thing is that it is still snowing, and the wind is still gusting at times up to 30MPH. The snow is powder, so that will make it easy to blow around, which is convenient.
Oh, and our furnace isn’t working, so that is a nice feature as well.
Snow is now drifting horizontally, thanks to a nice little gale. There are probably 2 to 3 inches now, and visibility is around 100 feet, I’d guess, based on my skills at estimation. I once guessed the M&M’s in the jar within 7 M&Ms. I think I was in 5th grade. Of course I also once told my parents that there was a kid in my class that was 7 feet tall. This was when I was in 2nd grade. I was really short as a child.
The snow has started to fall here in the Ville, and the winds are picking up. Just to give you the full effect, I am typing this from my front yard, because in order to report the weather, one must be in the weather, not viewing it through a camera or window. I must also START SHOUTING because it is WINDY. RIGHT NOW the WIND is so WINDY it’s like nothing I’ve seen, because YOU CAN’T SEE WIND. Back to you in the studio.
…but my new favorite term for the impending plague of white fluff is “Snowlonoscopy”
Mmm Fluff…that reminds me, it’s time for lunch.
It’s 8 AM local time, and I think Cantore is on his 7th Red Bull and Vodka. Some guy named Bettes is here too – why they need 2 guys to yell "IT’S GOING TO SNOW" I’m not sure.
They cut to a forecaster standing outside in Oklahoma City this morning at 5:30 AM and he said "Look behind me! The streets of the city are abandoned as the snow has crippled the metropolis." Is the OKC usually a bevy of activity most days at 5:30 in the morning?
As for us, we’re waiting. No snow yet. I’m reminded of the scene in Airplane! where they are waiting for Striker to land the plane and Lloyd Bridges says "it’s quiet out there" and Robert Stack says "it’s too quiet" and then Lloyd Bridges sniffs glue. What a great movie. Updates to follow.
Here is further confirmation that Jim Cantore is the grim reaper of weather. Three of my colleagues, with whom I share very little else in common, all received emails from their parents this afternoon all saying something to the effect of "you better take this weather warning seriously, Jim Cantore is in Chicago and he only goes places where the weather equivalent of the Ten Plagues of Exodus occur."
This, of course, is in addition to the similar such email I received from my mother at around the same time. This means that my colleagues and I are all uniformly dismissive of weather warnings and all have parents who diligently watch the Weather Channel.
I’ve lived in Chicagoland long enough now to realize that in the winter:
a) it snows
b) it snows a lot
c) it is cold
d) it is so cold the snow that once it falls it tends to stay in my yard until Memorial Day
e) weatherforecasterpersons tend to get a little excited
f) all of the above
So you can imagine that I may have been skeptical by the recent news that a Thunder Snow is headed our way with an expected arrival of Tuesday afternoon, at which time 18 inches of snow is expected at a rate of 2-3 inches of snow per hour until the entire metropolitan area is paralyzed until the Fourth of July…oh the Huge Manatee!
Just as I was muttering “yeah right” (and bracing myself for a total of 1.3 inches of snow)…
…I hear the news that apparently Jim Cantore’s news crew is setting up shop in our front yard. Cantore tends to show up only when an Old Testament-style atmospheric beatdown is imminent. This is a troubling development. Stand by for further updates and I will let you know if the forecasted Snowpacolypse of 2011 comes to fruition.
Most of Naperville is weeping…but not Annimal who is on Cloud Nine. Which coincidentally is the number of wardrobe changes she had today, unsure of whether her Packers cheerleader uniform or her #16 Mushugamah jersey was the better good luck charm.
She’s a fearless one – today Jimmy had a basketball game (they won, in spite of the coaching) and Annie wore the jersey in the midst of the Bears faithful. Here’s hoping she doesn’t ask me to take her to Dallas.
